A tired and uncreative social media team still hasn’t thought of a way to shoehorn a reference to Valentine’s Day into a tweet about their company’s corporate, loveless product.

Staff at BuildYourCash – an investment company based in West London – have been attempting to come up with poems and quips featuring references to love and romance all day, but have so far drawn a complete blank.

Attempts such as “Roses are red, violets are blue, give us your money, we need yours too” and “Remember you can switch your partner’s investment allowance to yourself to get MORE £££s” have fallen on deaf ears in the team’s strategy meetings, and with the end of the day approaching, time is running out for them to capitalise, for another year at least.

“It should be so easy – everyone else is coming with them” said CEO Steve Drone. “The PR team have sent 23 V-Day themed press releases already, but the social team are letting us down.

“Luckily, there’s plenty more days in the year for us to make amends, and I trust the team can get past their writer’s block. Hell, we’ve got National Tartar Sauce Day and World Social Work Day next month. If they don’t say: ‘invest more money right now’, I’m not sure what does.”

By Callum Mason