A woman who has never given a penny to anyone in her life has said she doesn’t donate to charity because she “prefers to know” where her money is going, rather than because she doesn’t want to.

After watching a heart-warming video about a homeless charity on Facebook this morning, 32-year-old Matilda Stafford felt the need to share this opinion in the comments.

While the statement implies some kind of direct charity on her part, or even donation in kind (clothes, time), friends and family have confirmed this is not the case.

A confused friend, Rebecca Dodge, told the London Gonzo: “She said she didn’t want to give to my half marathon, even though I explained in minute detail where the money was going – it was to a cystic fibrosis charity, in honour of my late father.

“She said unless I was literally handing a check over to someone with cystic fibrosis, her money would go to the pen pushers over at ‘Big Stationery’. I’m not sure she really knows how charities work.”

Nonetheless, Stafford defended her position: “All these charities where you donate online, and a percentage goes towards running costs? I want it to go to the kids, not towards admin costs or like, paid, full-time employees.

“You really never know what these charities are doing with it. Think about that Oxfam scandal. Didn’t they like, kill the kids or something?” (Editor’s note: it must be made clear that they did not.)

She also added that she didn’t believe in taxes going towards solving homelessness, pointing out that, saying: “people are inherently generous, don’t you think? Also, money does redistribute naturally. The fact all these homeless people can afford sleeping bags is testament to the miracle of trickle-down economics.”

By Daisy and David Bard

Image: Dwight Burdette