England rugby star Jonny May, who scored a first-half hat trick against France in the Six Nations earlier this afternoon, is set to replace Theresa May as UK Prime Minister, The London Gonzo can reveal.
28-year-old May is expected to take on the role tomorrow afternoon, although on social media Tory activists have expressed some concern at having a known left winger leading the party.
Government spokesperson James Conn explained the move, saying: “He’s got the same name so we’ll hardly have to change any of the paperwork and in one 40-minute half he’s had more success dealing with European opposition than Theresa has had in two and a half years.”
“The closer he got to the line, the more dedicated and focused he was to get there and succeed for his country, which is sort of what we need right now.”
Although upset at losing a key player midway through the tournament, England coach Eddie Jones has said he sees the move as having a parallel with his rugby team, telling the Gonzo: “We don’t have substitutes in my team, I call them finishers. This is why.”
Theresa May has declined to comment on her next move, although a source has said that Saracens may be looking for a new manager.
By David and Daisy Bard