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Career wife Debra Snodgrass, 36, committed the ultimate act of self-care when she staged her own death. Her motive: fabulousness.

“I was just about to put dinner on the table one night when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Awful pores. Limp hair. Really nothing-y nail colour. I looked like a sad mum on an advert before she discovers Olay or Febreze” Snodgrass told the London Gonzo.

“But I don’t have the money or time for a manicure someone always needs bathing, or dressing, or breastfeeding, and that’s not to mention all the stuff the flipping kids need. Do you know how much CUMON classes cost?”

Snodgrass told a Crown Court today that she “put [her] Grade 6 LAMDA skills to use” by miming choking on a fish finger, while also convincing her husband not to call paramedics.

Once pronounced dead, Snodgrass disappeared, next seen on CCTV in a nearby Boots buying over £200 worth of skincare and beauty products (nabbing a £5 voucher off No7 mascara in the process).

Police were first alerted to Snodgrass’s fraudulent death when her credit cards, bank accounts and rewards points continued to be used. She further raised suspicions when she opened an Instagram account called “immortal_mama” posting beauty and pampering tips to her 220 followers.

Snodgrass’s husband Owen insisted to police that the account belonged to his wife’s long-lost twin sister, Debourah, who he said had come to visit him to explain the situation.

“Debourah was really lovely, she looked exactly like Debra except with better hair and skin and clothes. Also her voice was different, she sort of had a bit like a Kate Middleton accent except sometimes it went a bit Australian. But she definitely said that she wasn’t Debra, a bunch of times.”

It was only when Snodgrass celebrated her “#FakedMyDeath-Iversary” on her Instagram account that police could finally get a warrant for her arrest.

Today, Ms. Snodgrass cut a defiant picture in court, dressed fetchingly in a pink two-piece skirt suit and her hair styled in soft blorange waves.

“I am strong, beautiful, and living my truth. I was serving potato waffles and now I am serving looks, queen! [sic]”, she called to reporters, as guards remanded her in custody.

By Josie Parkinson

Image: Sergio Savarese